This is a post i made 2007 new years 2 year ana of my sons death~~~Jan. 5th 2011~~~~Today is a tough day for me. its my son's birthday. He would be 2 years old today and my heart hurts for him just as much as it did on the day he came in to this world and quickly left to go back home. i was told my sweet angel would not make it past my 19th week of pregnancy i was told that if i did he would be born dead and advised to end the pregnancy but no way if that pregnancy was all the time i was gonna get with my son nobody and i mean nobody but God was gonna tell me when he was ready to go home
my baby fooled the doctors many times in many ways he was not suppose to grow he was not suppose to live as long as he did he was suppose to be horrible disfigured he wasn't he was beautiful on Dec.26th i went into labor at disney they stopped it on the 28th but i went back into labor on the 29th i prepared my self for my son's birth ...and death i prayed for 2 things during my pregnancy that my son would be competely healed and that i would be able to hear him cry
at 11:00pm on the 30th the doctor told me it was time to push a wave of excitment and panic washed over me because once he was taken from my body that was it my body couldn't breath for him anymore...it couldn't keep him alive
at 1:16am my son was born ....alive....the doctor held my son up to me and in that few seconds that my my son met eyes with me peace just washed over me it was as if he was telling my i'm okay mommy its okay to let go it felt like we held eachothers gaze forever i still see his sweet eyes in my sleep
they took my son to a bed next to mine and the min our eyes left eachother i heard his soft sweet cry it wasn't a painful cry or a sad cry it was so soft as if to say goodbye i heard the doctors talking as they tryed to help him breath they wisked him away to the neonatal icu and told me to wait
at 2:16 my son died .....i held him after he died i rocked him bathed him sang to him and just loved on him in those hours i had him in my arms i said my goodbyes and thanked the Lord for all the blessings he gave me through that beautiful baby it was medically impossible for my son to be able to cry he did..it was not likly that my son would look normal he did my savior my God granted me everything i asked for maybe not all in the way i wanted but my son is healed completly he was taken to heaven
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SON
you are missed and loved and your memory will live for ever in our hearts ......Lord said "Let the little children come to me for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these"
i believe that we all have a purpose something God has us here to do its up to us to say yes...some people don't complete what he has in store for them untill there old some are middle aged or teens but there are some that are so special there tasks are so great that it may only take them a day or an hour to complete my son was one of those special people he did more for me then i could every explain
~~~December 18 2010~~~~Christmas shopping has been a nightmare. I love christmas but i have begun to loathe walmart during the holidays. Work has been work am lovin the new schedule frees up time to write. I have been writing up a storm. I am doing some pre editing edits lol if there is such a thing. This book has truely taken on a path of its own. We are headed down to my in-laws this week so it will be a nice change of scene. I am planing on taking some me time and sitting on the beach under the pier and writing. Speaking of writing, i came across some writing the last time i went and sat on the beach. I posed a good question or food for thought so to speak. When you sitting under the pier and water drips down...how much of that is actually water and how much is drunk person lost there bladder....yuk...i am rethinking sitting directly under the pier.
~~~~December 12 2010~~~ I will be helping a friend out with a movie project he is doing. ZOMBIES gotta love em. From what i am gathering its a whole christmas zombie thing. I know it will be an awesome experience fun for the whole family lol. My daughter is playing a creepy child zombie. She is stoked...(do people use that word anymore?) On the book front i am almost done and on to draft rewrites. Well see how it goes. Hope to be looking for agents by New Years or the week after...maybe the end of the month. Umph!
Would it be thanksgiving without wanting to throw the mother of your soon to be sister in laws mother in law over a balcony. I am so bless i love my mother in law and father in law they are awesome. I would probably abandon the marriage for my sanity had they had turned out like my sister in laws new mother in law. CRAZY. On a happier note she did go through with the marriage and we got to go home never to look back...well never to look back when they are visiting.
Starting off this blog and topping my charts of most inconvenient events of the week was a medical procedure i had yesterday. Nothing big just a *cringe* colonoscopy yeah yuk i know but it had to be done. I will save you the details suffice it to say that i was alssp for the vent and really didn't care what was going on in my neather regions lol. I have pictures yes why they give you pictures i don't know maybe to prove they were there lol. All is well with my insides for the most part. next onto the kidneys oh the fun we will have.
Posted by shay November 19 2010
